Der Marss Faces

Immediately after the landing on Mars, the crew of the Plungerprize set about converting their starship into the martian land base from which their explorations will commence – Mars Base Alpha. In one of the three HMMWVs (Hummers) brought along for planetary exploration, Derik Jarnesgaard set out on the first official Mars exploratory journey. Slowly he made his way over the gravelly martian terrain until he had driven about one kilometer from the base. With plunger in hand, he spent several minutes admiring the new base and the landscape. Since the time he had been a little child he had dreamed of space flight and the exploration of another planet and now he was here.

Meanwhile, back at the base, Sven and Knute looked up at the newly constructed environmental domes covering Mars Base Alpha.

“Vell, Sven. Vhere doo yoou vant too goo, first?”

“Yah, shoor, dot’s a goot qvestion, Knute. I vass tinking dat as soon as Derik gets back here, vee coould head oout foor der Marss face.”

“Der Marss face? Vhat are you, soome kind uff noot? Doo yoou really tink it iss a real face?”

“Noo I doon’t tink it iss a real face. I yoost tink it voould be interesting to see. Dere are soome pyramids around dere, too.”

“Und I soopoose dot dere Egytians built dem? Vell, der Marss face iss in der Cydonia region, to der vest uff here. Yoou can see it oon der map here.”

Several hours passed and Derik returned to Mars Base Alpha. Knute and Derik discussed the details of the trip to the Mars face while Sven prepared the Hummer with the provisions they would need for the journey to Cydonia.

At this point, I would like to explain to you, dear reader, why no one appears to be wearing a space suit or helmet. The lack of a space suit is no problem to explain: Mars is cold, but remember, all of these people are Norwegians – they love the cold. As for the missing helmets, look closer. Everyone is wearing a horned helmet. The horns are a cleverly disguised oxygen generators which provide a small cloud of breathable air around their heads.

The trio traveled for two days across the plains of Mars until they reached the region of Cydonia. As they approached the area of the Mars face, they found a small clump of mountains from which they could see the face and the pyramids nearby.

Had the face been created by martians many eons ago? Were the pyramids merely mountains that had formed naturally, or had martian slaves piled up large blocks of sandstone as a monument to a green-skinned king or queen?

“Vill yoou take a loook at dat!” said Sven. “I tink a doost stoorm iss cooming in.”

Surely enough, a dust storm was coming. Fortunately the three were at an altitude that would be unaffected by the storm. They watched as it passed over the face and the pyramids, stirring up a large cloud of rusty dust and sand. As a layer of martian soil was removed from an area near the face, Sven, Knute, and Derik all gasped as three new facial formations appeared.

“Yumpin’ Yiminee! I see tree noo faces.”

“Yah shoor! Vee haff discoovered tree noo faces on Marss! Vee haff too name diss disscoovery! Haff yoou got a name foor it, Sven?”

Sven thought for a moment, looked at the faces, and replied, “Yah. Der Tree Stooges!”